Wednesday, 19 March 2008

The butchest Lesbian I ever saw

Well, there's a new addition to the freak show also known as "work". And she's instantly become the talk of the town, well site.

First time I saw her, I just thought: weird guy. Second time: surprisingly little facial hair. Third time: sort-of gay swagger. Fourth time: fat ass.

Then it hit me: the "guy", tattoos, Adidas, G-Star Che-style army cap and voice deeper than Rod Stewart's, is a woman. *Shock* *Awe*

A few days later. I overheard one of the managers gossip from a distance. The only phrase that was sufficiently clearly articulated was "hot new bull dyke". My co-worker and I just couldn't contain our laughter.

A few days later, the following story hits the internal news cycle.

Close to the end of the shift, she apparently placed her butt on a desk, started scratching her privates, and remarked, once she noticed quite a few people were staring:

My pussy's itching!

This simple statement has become the scandal of the year so far, and I guess she's quite capable of improving on it. Yes, there's more than a whiff of trailer park about her.

When told to work harder, she apparently answered:

Hey, I still need to have energy to finger tonight!

We're not quite used to this kind of in-your-face female sexuality, I guess.

But the best remark of all was made by closeted freak, when the subject of lesbians came up:

[Bull dyke co-worker] is also a lesbian, and she has no problem admitting it!

This weekend: Dr Lektroluv!

Sunday, 16 March 2008

You know what to expect...

While I'm suffering through a boring phase in my life, and a terrible writer's block to boot, I just have to share the tune that I have been obsessing about since the album was released in, well October:

It's kind of cheesy, very Eighties somehow, but I love it, and I can't wait for the mixes. The video is kind of disappointing and schizophrenic, but I can live with that.

Next weekend will be mega party time...