First time I saw her, I just thought: weird guy. Second time: surprisingly little facial hair. Third time: sort-of gay swagger. Fourth time: fat ass.
Then it hit me: the "guy", tattoos, Adidas, G-Star Che-style army cap and voice deeper than Rod Stewart's, is a woman. *Shock* *Awe*
A few days later. I overheard one of the managers gossip from a distance. The only phrase that was sufficiently clearly articulated was "hot new bull dyke". My co-worker and I just couldn't contain our laughter.
A few days later, the following story hits the internal news cycle.
Close to the end of the shift, she apparently placed her butt on a desk, started scratching her privates, and remarked, once she noticed quite a few people were staring:
My pussy's itching!
This simple statement has become the scandal of the year so far, and I guess she's quite capable of improving on it. Yes, there's more than a whiff of trailer park about her.
When told to work harder, she apparently answered:
Hey, I still need to have energy to finger tonight!
We're not quite used to this kind of in-your-face female sexuality, I guess.
But the best remark of all was made by closeted freak, when the subject of lesbians came up:
[Bull dyke co-worker] is also a lesbian, and she has no problem admitting it!
This weekend: Dr Lektroluv!