Or why I didn't go for this guy.
This has been bothering me for a while now. I think I should stick to people my age. Not just a matter of principle, but also because you are more likely to fit together: life experience and position in society are likely to be similar, or at least comparable. And you can at least talk about early nineties hit singles, the 1988 European Cup and the time Richard Krajicek won Wimbledon. I'd like to have stuff in common.
Younger guys are a little nicer to look at, it's true. And some of them honestly seem to like me, even though I wouldn't, in their position. It's something I hardly understand, but it probably has something to do with experience and maturity.
I have been approached several times now by boys of about 18 years old. Nothing was particularly wrong with them, the last one was pretty damn hot, but I just can't go for it.
The reason? It feels wrong, on every level.
I don't want to be a sugar daddy, and I definitely don't want to be some semi-paedophile who's preying on the younger kids, feeling them up whenever they get half a chance. Even though they're surely legal, it feels like jail bait.
We don't have anything in common, apart from maybe lust. Nothing wrong with that; I can't see a relationship working out, and they're definitely just looking for a bit of fun. This is where you have to keep your feelings in check. And I'm not sure I could pull it off.
So my credo has been: let them keep to themselves, even though some might want to have a little fling. They're better off with people their own age. And so am I, really, until I see what most people my age look like... ageing. Yes, it's superficial, but it counts. How can you fancy somebody you think is ugly?
This gets me to the root cause of my discomfort: I'm starting to realise I look a bit younger than my age. So even if there is an age gap, it's size is not immediately clear. I have a huge mental barrier labelled "27" that other people don't see. And when they think 23 or 24, it just feels a lot smaller, and it's not really an issue any more.
So that's why I didn't pounce on Hottie when I saw him again.