Get your own style, dammit!

Up until a week or two ago, all was well.

White belt = gay. Simple. See one, listen to gaydar going "ping", and move on, with a knowing smile.


I won a bet like that: a friend and I, doing some Hyves stalking, discovered a questionable guy. I was the first to find proof: the white belt. The matter was settled; we high-fived and moved on.

I even bought one myself. Just to be a little more provocative, to broadcast a little. It made me feel rather uncomfortable at the local supermarket, but I still felt good for wearing it.

Suddenly, starting last week, they're everywhere. My womanising co-worker appeared at work wearing one. I just stared, thought it was maybe time to have a little chat with the guy, all hint-hint nudge-nudge you know. I chickened out; not the type of convo I'd like to have at work at all.

Last weekend, on one night, I saw about twenty of them. Worn by guys with girlfriends, undeniably straight guys. Then this week, they're everywhere at school, even though I swear one of the guys wearing one was a homo. Maybe he's just a little behind fashion, his car had Belgian registration after all. Suddenly, it became abundantly clear it was time to move on from the white belt.

The bad thing of course is that I now have to go back to the uncertain "is he or isn't he" game until some new give-away attribute has been found. The best possible tell has been ruined by unimaginative straight guys who are unable to develop their own style.

"Happened to the shoulder bags and pink shirts too" says my friend. Quite right, but fucking annoying.

So please guys, leave something for us, and let it not be the annoying ties every shop assistant seems to wear lately.

Annoying tie, in sickening pink

In the mean time, I might try out my white belt at work... it doesn't seem to mean anything any more.