When will we reach the pinnacle of trash TV?

After inventing the genre with "products" like Big Brother, the Golden Cage and the Big Donor Show, which at least was a well-meaning hoax, I think we should be the ones to kill it off. Thankfully, an idea for a sperm donor show was cancelled after protests from politicians and religious leaders. But we still manage to hit rock bottom at a smaller scale.

MTV's childish Dutch-language sister channel TMF has a segment called "Out of the closet!" Yes, with the silly exclamation mark. You can probably guess where this is going...

"Have a friend who needs to come out of the closet? Then write to us!" Note the word "needs".

First off, an interview with the bastard who arranged it all. Why he suspects, and all. Smug asshole who should cut down on the beer and lose some weight.

The poor victim, gay or straight, will then be ambushed. Preferably with lots of people around, such as his place of work. Camera in tow, clichés, such as rainbow flags and curly pink wigs, everywhere.

"He's gay!" says the friend who's watching this with me, at first glimpse. Absolutely nothing tickles my gaydar; I'm just watching the disaster unfold, in total disbelief at the callousness of it all.

First, the bitch presenting the show asks all sorts of impertinent questions about the victim's experiences with the opposite sex. She oozes hints about his preferring the same sex, leading up to the inevitable question. The presenter and victim are then joined by the "friend" who arranged this lower form of torture in the first place.

Then comes the big moment. Will he or won't he? Is he or isn't he? Tell and kiss?

The guy first answers yes, then starts a confused line of reasoning about coming out when you're unsure about your sexuality (didn't quite get this) and then denies it all. The whole thing had an aura of "yes, but not on camera" about it. Nothing wrong with that, after being put on the spot by some damn TV channel.

I sure hope he throttled his "mate" after the producers left...