I feel I need to round up my weird (some say "disturbing") taste in "people". To summarize crazy ol' me, I like younger (but legal) men and older women. Sue me. Better still, if you fit into one of those categories, drop me an email. ;-) Just don't hate me for it.
I totally dig Italians, male or female:
If there is anyone to blame for my screwed-up sexuality, it's actress and model Monica Bellucci. She is female perfection. So hot in the Matrix, tasteful, sophisticated, forty-something Monica is married to... someone, but Monica is who I'm looking for. Every girl I meet has to pass the Monica test, and they invariably fail.
Compared to her heavenly body, even Scarlett is a little plain.
I also have an annoying and not-so-straight crush on disco diva Sophie Ellis Bextor:
I must admit her accent is part of that too. I actually know a girl who has that look, but she's not into makeup all that much. Pity.
Dutch-Portuguese hockey star and model, Fatima Moreiro de Melo:
And of course my favourite food temptress Nigella (or is it Lady Nigella now?).
So I guess I'm picky, unrealistic and a hag's fag, all rolled into one. My exes might understand, but probably won't. That's probably why they're ex-it.
Time to really fuck with your brain, and hit the other side. Let's hit the football pitch.
Of course, record-breaking striker twink Klaas-Jan Huntelaar is on the list:
*Sigh* His girlfriend is really not much, but kudos for sticking with her through the depths of first division football right to the top. Loyalty does count for something, even in that fucked up world. Nice new haircut, cute three-day stubble as well. Sexy, 23 and already captain of the team.
Cris is a total asshole, but what a body:
Actually, I hate his guts, but he seems intent on exploring the limits of heterosexuality. I kind of admire that. Or maybe the rumours are simply true.
I could still just about shoot him for scoring against Holland at Euro 2004, even though he took off his shirt straight after the goal. Lust, wounded national pride and an intense hatred of anything Portuguese went through my mind at that moment.
Eviva's Arnaud, typical Frenchy eurometro guy that I would see a hundred times (fully clothed, admittedly) but dig as I walk through Paris:
It really looks like he's modeling G-Star, but I'm not sure.
And of course, Graziano Pelle, who helped kick Internazionale's butt for AZ on Saturday. File under "Italian".
Unfortunately, I "can't have it all", as Sophie would say.