Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Coming out on Facebook

Following the example of one of my high school gay buddies, I flipped the switch. Yes, I'm now listed on Facebook as single and interested in men.

To pre-empt what I was sure would be a coming shit storm, I decided to go out on Sunday. It got pretty wild actually, in a platonic way. Shots of some awful green stuff, drinking games, local gossip and when an older straight couple entered the bar and after some time had to be explained what type it was, the woman, amazed, asked the lot of us:

Are you gays then?

So, amused, we screamed "yes", all at once. Great fun, a little out and somewhat proud. And all of us looked normal, inconspicuous.

Back to Facebook. My profile changes were on the mini feed. 48 Hours and counting, not one reaction, zilch. I have a sneaking suspicion some of the girls might be actively messaging each other about this (normally they would) but there has been no public response at all.

So either it was obvious all along or nobody really cares.

Either way, it has a somewhat relaxing effect. The closet makes us think the whole world is interested in our sexuality and everyone is trying to get at our innermost, darkest secrets. This is likely to be nonsense. And it makes sense: do you really care what most of your platonic friends get up to in bed?

It gives me courage to take the next step. Not sure who the victim will be or how I will frame it, but I'm committed to taking it.

Still, placating my mother's probable worries will be hardest.


Matt-CNS said...

good for you. Mine still just says I'm a guy and doesn't even say who I am interested in. Although you have given me a thought that it is a good way to let everyone know once I am comfortable.

At the same time it never appeared in my newsfeed, so maybe Facebook choose not to tell people via feed. Give it time, I'm sure people will clue in, or suddenly clue in to that part of your profile.

Big Lost Guy said...

I echo that, Good for you. I'm a bit behind the times on this I don't even have a MySpace page.

For some reason that scares the heck out of me because then I can't control who knows and I never know who may find it and use it,and in this small town things get around fast.

J.R. said...

That's HUGE to me, man. Both my MySpace and my Facebook make no mention of my sexuality — my first "big" coming out step, haha. But kudos to you to taking the plunge and good luck with the next step... and the next... and the next. Heh. It never ends, does it?

Nothing Golden Stays

W said...

Newsflash. People don't take Facebook very seriously when it comes to things like relationship status, marriage status etc. I have married friends who have put "looking for random play" as their relationship status and I have straight friends who've implied on facebook that they are gays and lesbians, just for fun. Maybe your friends are thinking that you made those changes in jest.Who knows?

Goodluck with the school yearand kudos on taking a nevertheless brave step.

Much love.

Nathan said...

gratz..... I too changed my facebbok interested in to men about two days ago.... and no one even messaged me, like as if nothing happened. Only one friend said she was proud of me. So I guess you are right, its not really big an issue being out.

anyway nice post. take care dude